No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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