What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
