Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
