It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
