I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
