Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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