I will die if light touches me.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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