My hand turned me down
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
