Walk of Shame. In a state park.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
