So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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