I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Still dying that you shit outside
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
