matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
How's work?
Spinning.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
