Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
