that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
