OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
