bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
