Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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