You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
