no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
