I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize