i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
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