Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Sober January is a disaster.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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