your room smells of hookers.
And success
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
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