are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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