'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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