do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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