if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
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