My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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