If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
