Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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