This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
