hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize