Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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