Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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