She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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