no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
