Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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