She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize