I'm laying in your front yard are you home
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
