dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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