I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
