4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
