Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I didn't notice because vodka
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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