I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize