Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
