I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
