he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
