a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
