There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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