we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
