dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
