sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
