And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
