he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
