i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize