I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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