Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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