it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
