...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She's the barista slut.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize