i just wanna soil my oats bro
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Randomize
