Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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