wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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